By Donna J. Rouse


Relationships are not easy to maintain but are even harder when couples do not communicate with each other properly. Many relationships break down due to the lack of communication which is a major factor in arousing feelings of loneliness, frustration, and bitterness - nothing good for a relationship.

Couples who feel connected, on the other hand, show harmony and bonding. They are able to express their emotions, feelings, and thoughts which bring them closer to each other.

To improve their lines of communication, couples should be willing to change their communication patterns. With open hearts they should be mindful of the ways that they come off to each other in their speech and in their actions as well as reactions. Bad communication habits should be eliminated and replaced with successful ones.

Many times words and actions are opposite of each other. While nice words might come out of the mouth, the actions that accompany it can be negative. When this happens, the listener is drawn more to interpreting the actions as opposed to words.

For example, if you compliment someone make sure it is accompanied by a smile, not a frown. If you frown while saying something nice, the words are taken the opposite way, no matter what was meant. In fact, it becomes even worse as it could be taken for sarcasm.

Sometimes, couples do not notice that they are sending out these conflicting signals. Soon, the method of communication becomes habitual and they end up being unsatisfied with being around each other. Arguments then erupt.

To make a lasting change, couples should be committed to changing their ways and adopt an effective and a positive way of talking to each other. It won't be an easy task, but with love, patience, and effort it can be done.

One way to make the process easier is to go to a relationship councilor who can work with the couple to point out where they start sending wrong messages. These people are trained professionals who can give clarity to their communication deficiencies and suggest ways to modify or resolve it.




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